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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you in a marriage that looks great to the outsiders but inside you are both hurting? You have nothing to talk about other than the kids. What do you do, esp. if kids are young and very attached to both of you?[/quote]
Talk about the kids.

No, seriously, you need to find some time with your spouse doing stuff together, cultivating interests, and making an effort to enjoy each other.

Why are you hurting?[/quote]

We are both hurting. We tried shared interests. I am more of a high-brow person than he is. I like museums, theaters, wineries, nice restaurants. He is happy riding bikes in the mud. [/quote]

My DH and I are similar, as are many others I suspect. I enjoy weird foreign art films and he likes superhero blockbusters, the usual stuff. Have you tried riding bikes in the mud? You might be surprised to discover that some low brow activities can be fun. I enjoy my high brow interests alone or with female friends. DH watches superhero comic book movies without me. We connect a few shared interests (mostly stuff that I picked up when we met) and do a lot of stuff on our own.

We have the same priorities in terms of our family life together and the future. I don't mind the fact that we have different interests, and I don't think that he does either. And frankly I enjoy the basic consistent routines. I guess that I just don't relate to loneliness based on what you have written. I think the only way that I would feel lonely in a marriage was if my husband was ignoring me or my specific requests for support and help, or not supporting our family and future together. Can you articulate specifically what you need that he is unable or unwilling to provide?

I don't want to be mean when you are clearly hurting, but from what you have written, this looks like a "you" issue more than a marriage issue. It sounds to me like you are bit needy and co-dependent and could benefit from having more hobbies and interests separate from your husband. Good luck.   [/quote]

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