Reply to MIL Changing Plans to See Favorite Grandchild

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is she “finding out” your son’s plans?

Loose lips sink ships. Don’t tell her anything unless you want to see her. And if your son actively wants to see her, that’s fine, but you don’t have to be around. Go on a spa weekend. He’s not a baby.[/quote]

Notice that OP won’t answer this question: How is she “finding out” your son’s plans?

If you told her, that’s on you.
If DH told her, that’s on him.

If YOUR SON told her, and he wants to see her, then THAT is what “rules the day.” It’s his time home and he should see the people he wants to see during the visit. If you don’t like that, take yourself out to the movies or get your nails done.[/quote]

I don't honestly remember. Most likely she asked, and we answered. It's hard to be evasive on direct questioning, and my son would have told her if we hadn't.

Actually, it was my son's idea to have brunch with me, my husband and daughter.

He hasn't heard anything about grandma's plans - that communication is going through my husband. She hasn't reached out to my son.[/quote]

Does your son really care if Grandma comes to brunch? You sound very possessive of your adult son.[/quote]

OP isn’t being possessive she doesn’t want a rude relative to demand an invitation. [/quote]

Sounds like son will probably invite her. Since he's the one who let her know.[/quote]

Nope, son did not invite her. OP’s MIL is one of those people who decides that being informed means she has an invitation. She knows that she doesn’t. This is why she announced that she is traveling through the area. This type digs for info and then announces that they are attending. The women in DH’s family are like this to varying degrees.

The only way to stop this rude behavior is say no. Tell her that she is not invited. It took me awhile to learn that pushy people will simply take advantage of those with nice manners. They will box you into a corner so you feel you can’t say no any firmer without being rude. This works for them to get what they want. You have to stand firm and f they force you to be rude, be rude. [/quote]

I'm OP, and this is the situation. No, son did not invite her. Yes, after reading some responses, I asked him what he wanted. The four of us out to brunch in DC. That's what we're doing. Not a perfect solution, but we simply won't be home.[/quote]
Are you going to tell Grandma you won’t be home or just let her show up and ring the bell to an empty house?[/quote]

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