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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s funny how husbands make it wives’ responsibility to maintain relationships with their parents.[/quote]

It's funny that grown adult women ever fall for it. If my boyfriend/fiance had ever tried that crap with me, I wouldn't have married him. If my husband told me I was responsible for that stuff I would laugh in his face.[/quote]\

So, that's not how this generally starts.  How it started for me, was once we got married we started spending holidays together.  And giving JOINT gifts.  And I will admit, I didn't always think my DH was picking out "good" gifts.  I felt that I wanted to impress my inlaws by being thoughtful about our gifts, and I thought he was a bit too lazy about it.  Since my name was on it too, I didn't like that.  (BIG MISTAKE) So I felt pressure, that was mostly all self-imposed but clearly I'd gotten cues from other women in my life, that I needed to "help" my DH with gift giving because otherwise *I* would been seen as lazy/not caring/not thoughtful.  It was ok maybe the first few holiday seasons, but then I was just incredibly overwhelmed each Christmas trying to find unique and new gifts for everyone.  Once we had our first kid I just said "ENOUGH".  He was in charge of his family, I was in charge of mine, end of story.  My DH will sometimes ask me if I have ideas, and while I used to bristle (because it felt he was making it my job) now I just say no.  Or if I do have ideas, I tell him "maybe your mom would like that" or something.  But that's it.

His mother definitely noticed, and she didn't like it.  She has accused us of being cheap or of being "the grinch".  Mainly because we have requested, multiple times, to STOP with the adult gift giving.  It's stressful, expensive and often wasteful because people don't want the crap you give them.  That used to bother me, but now I've dropped the rope and I don't care so much.  Now we just give them pictures of the kids and continue to request the end of adult gift giving.  If they don't like our gifts, they are free to stop buying us gifts.  
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