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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. Well he just left the house to go to a dispensary and liquor store. Says he can handle it. We argued a little but I got tired of it. I can't control him.

I'm worried this is going to go downhill fast. [/quote]

It probably is. I would talk to a family law attorney--not because you are necessarily going to get a divorce, but to document his behavior and protect your funds in the event that things get worse.[/quote]

This, OP, above. Protect funds pronto. It is sadly all too common for people with mental illness to spend recklessly. I posted earlier about my friend who was misdiagnosed as depressed for years but who actually has bipolar disorder. She absolutely devastated her finances with wild spending when manic and finally got the wake-up call (and the correct diagnosis) when she was was fired from a job, and sued, for misusing a company credit card for personal purposes. She was totally responsible and level-headed and honest when she wasn't manic, but the illness sparked some behaviors that will follow her professionally forever.

If your DH's job involves handling money, even he's not bipolar in the end, whatever the diagnosis, you need to be aware that he could end up doing very damaging things to family finances and his career and earning potential as well.

I'm so sorry he is going out to, let's be blunt, get what he needs to self-medicate. Only, if he's pulled over and is already high or has been drinking, the cops won't take "self-medicating" as an excuse.

You can't control him but you can control what you do next. You have three kids. He just lost any right or privilege to drive them anywhere, I hope. Which puts such a burden on YOU. I'm so sorry. In your shoes I would have to tell him to take his "I can handle it" elsewhere to self-medicate. I'd really try to talk to his doctor. Your DH sounds like he may need an intervention and possibly an inpatient stay to get a solid diagnosis and correct meds and enough time for those meds to work. I know that sounds extreme but he is self-medicating in ways that could get him fired, arrested or even killed. Will he drive home from the dispensary and liquor store high and/or drunk, do you think? He clearly doesn't think so.

[/quote] OP. Yes, absolutely, I’ll be doing the driving from now on. I made it clear to him that any legal trouble is 100% on him and I won’t be helping out.

I’m very worried because he’s also acting in a way I’ve never seen him act. I posted earlier that I’ve never seen him angry, and today I did for the first time. It wasn’t intense, but he came in and started ranting about how he can’t enjoy the yard because the dogs are usually out playing in it, he’s sick of our two dogs, and I’m crazy to think he would have another baby with me when I neglect our dogs (I’ve always wanted three kids, one of ours is his from a previous marriage, he said no after 2 and it’s something I’ve been grieving as I come to the end of my fertility). It’s true our dogs have been somewhat neglected, but that’s because I stopped getting up early to take them on walks so I could handle the kids and he could sleep in.

He’s never spoken to me like this before. Do you think it’s possible he’s having an affair or hitting a midlife crisis?[/quote]

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