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Reply to "Frequent Texts from relative"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I get that receiving a constant stream of texts is very annoying. As other posters have suggested, turn off notifications and/or only reply if and when you wish to reply. BUT ... please do not underestimate loneliness in middle aged and elderly people. Loneliness can be destructive. It eats at one's self-esteem and it can lead to depression. Getting out there and making friends is easier said than done. Easy when you're a kid, not so easy when you're past 50. I'm in my 50s and it feels like everyone already has their friendship circles set up. Not having kids can be a barrier too. [/quote] Would you rather have people feel sorry for you and give you pity "likes" and smiles or make real connections? If this relative is so lonely and cannot make and keep friendships there is a bigger issue and therapy is needed. I am anxious person. No way would I expect my friends to deal with my every anxiety and coddle me because I care about them. I get help, I implement my strategies and I don't impose my issues on others. If you are lonely and feel lost, then get help and learn strategies so you can forge meaningful true connection.[/quote] You are victim blaming. At least the lonely person is proactive and making an effort to connect with people. I'm a woman in my early 50s. I am confident and well spoken, I take good care of my appearance and I am not afraid to approach other people or to speak in public. I have an interesting job that takes me overseas regularly. I speak a couple of European languages. I receive consistent positive feedback from clients and I have an excellent long term working relationship with my co-workers and managers. However... I feel lonely a lot! I have a wonderful, supportive husband but hardly any friends. I have friendly acquaintances but no close friends. I live in a semi-rural small town and I have to move heaven and earth to even get someone to have a cup of coffee and a chat with me. My texts to local women remain unanswered a lot of the time, especially when I try and set a date for a meetup. It's not my imagination, it's true. So, you think I should get help? I don't think so. I've done my best. [/quote] If you are choosing inappropriate people to meet your needs and you expect them to pity you and give in, then yes you need help. That is not victim blaming. That is identifying something is wrong and the person needs help. People have a right to be annoyed by texts. Boundaries are important and this person needs to learn them. As for you, if you feel lonely so much, yes, get help to figure out how to get your needs met in a healthy way. Nobody can force you to get help, but do I think you are better off just complaining about being lonely? no.[/quote]
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