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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Question for OP: what exactly did they do to you?  To answer, I am not sure if it was hard or not but it never happened in 10 years of parenting so far.

There is just a line.

Well, I explain to the kids that if they are doing something that will get themselves or a sibling killed then spanking will be an option for me.  Somehow, the threat of a spank -- but not becoming deceased --  is a deterrent.  Examples are running in front of a moving bus or climbing on top of a roof.  You can tell I have only boys!!![/quote]

Hi, OP here.

It was a lot of spanking, slaps across the face, upside the head, belt beatings (forceful at that), hair pulling, ear pulling. When I was 5 or so, I ran into the street and as a punishment, my mom wrapped my long hair around my sisters stroller and made me walk home like that. As a teenager, I have a distinct memory of my mom grabbing me by the hair and knocking my head into a wall (no unconscious but again, forceful). But man that rage is imprinted on me.  By

A lot of it is fuzzy 30+ years later but I get flashes of my mother when I struggle with my own kids. I can practically hear her voice coming out of my mouth (and oftentimes the words as well). I don’t think I actually hated my mother until I had my own and couldn’t believe how she could treat a child so small.

And like some PPs, I come from a culture where spanking was normal. A few of my peers from the same community do smaller versions of punishment (ear pulling comes to mind). My peers and I sometimes marvel that some of our parents behavior wasnt always in a fit of rage. (“Go to your room, strip down and bring the belt with you”. - like what). My grandfather was an abusive, terrible man (but I think to his wife not kids). I know a lot of my moms behavior must come from what she saw as a child.

This was my experience and I know it’s better than some and worse than others. Everyone has their line and maybe it changes. I didn’t think much of it - and probably made light of it for a long time - but the feeling and emotional memory has gotten dredged up with my own kids.

Anyway, thanks to everyone sharing their own experience.  And kudos to those who can rise above it. [/quote]

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