Reply to How do you not yell at your child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Even though I try to stay ahead of the curve, my dd often manages to push my buttons, usually when we are both tired at the end of the day. The result - after a few attempts at cheerful, creative solutions, I yell. Unfortunately this is not effective for her and sets us back in whatever we are locking heads about (tonight it was coming to the table for dinner). Every time I yell at her I tell myself that I have to stop doing it, but how? She is three. [/quote]

I TOTALLY understand.

I'm just going to comment on this from my point of view-- sometimes, what makes me doubly frustrated and angry is not my DD's behavior but the fact that I feel like I've been so nice about it w/ my "cheerful, creative solutions" and the fact that she's not responding the way she "should" is infuriating.

If you feel this way, too, you know what? I say drop the cheerful, creative solutions at the end of the day when you're exhausted. It helped me and my DD so much-- and mine hasn't yet turned 3-- if I just am honest with her. Once I started saying, "I'm REALLY tired and hungry and grumpy. I need to go eat and don't have the energy to argue about it. Please come to the table in the next 5 mins." And then I set the kitchen timer to ding, and if she doesn't, there are consequences (not no dinner, but a time-out, and we sit and start eating w/out her). But I also try to make dinner a pleasant enough experience once we sit down and start eating that it is much better to be at the table than in time-out.

Now, my DD will often say "I'm hungry and I feel GRUMPY" and it really helps me to be sympathetic to her, too, and not yell at the end of a rough day.[/quote]

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