Reply to How do you not yell at your child?

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[quote=Anonymous]Longtime nanny here- I don't yell at kids, but over the years there's been many times I've been tempted!!

Here's what I do...  First of all, I'm very consistent about every thing.  It cuts down on a lot of issues when the rules stay the same.  If I said no to X on Monday, it's still X on Thursday.  Consequences are immediate when necessary.

For example, if it's time for dinner I always give a 5 minute warning.  5 minutes before, I tell the kids it's dinner in 5 mins, do you want to come to the kitchen now or in 5 mins.  Kids almost always choose to wait the 5 minutes and then are happy to come when it's time for dinner after the 5 minutes.  Why?  Well I didn't just immediately pull them away from something fun, I warned them.  Then I also gave them a choice if They want to come now or 5 minutes.  I use choices with everything, after breakfast I'll ask if they want to brush their teeth now or after getting dressed.  That way I don't have to tell them to brush their teeth, they made a choice about when they want to do it.  When we leave the park,I'll ask if they want to leave now or in 10 mins, then I do a 5 minute warning.

IF, when I come back after the warning and they still won't comply,we talk about how we made an agreement and the next time they don't get a choice.  And I follow through with that as well.

I don't yell, I like to reason.  But I think the main thing is consistency.  If DC always knows she has a 5 minute warning before dinner then it's not so surprising/upsetting when she has to stop playing.  [/quote]

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