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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am white, raised in the US. DH was born here, but ILs were born in India. When MIL comes to visit from out of state, she always brings food. Usually this is not a big deal. We eat it, or we don’t.

This time, the visit was around a big family event. We hosted a meal at our house for a mix of Indian and non-Indian friends and family members. (Everyone lives in the US and the Indian side of the family regularly eats a mix of Indian and Western food.) We had the meal catered and had tons of food, all of it vegetarian and meeting any stated dietary restrictions. In the middle of the meal, MIL starts pulling out her homemade food and pushing it on people.

It felt rude to me. It’s not her house, she’s not the host, we had plenty of food. DH thinks his mom is nuts in general, but does this seem reasonable to other people?

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It’s cultural but like 50 years ago. My mom is 80 and wouldn’t even think of doing such thing. I actually can’t even imagine my late grandma doing it without discussing with the hostess, even if it’s her daughter or DIL. [/quote]

Disagree. This is cultural and happens today as well. My MiL would definitely do something like this but it has never been considered rude by people. But people (including myself) also like my MiL. Your previous boundary issues are playing into this. The act itself should be looked at in a cultural context.[/quote]

+1. My MIL is from the ME and always brings a dish to our house whether hosting for small or large party. WE love it because she does it out of love and because she's one of the best cooks around. Also, we have a wonderful relationship with MIL so she really can do no wrong. I would never think of bringing food as disrespectful. On the contrary, we could never show up to someone's house empty handed so perhaps the cultural norms are taking over. Here, your rocky relationship with MIL is likely shaping the issue. [/quote]

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