Reply to trusts and inlaws

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "trusts and inlaws"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here - my worry is that we don’t know who they will be at 18 or what they will be able to handle. I partied a little too much when I first went to college and then got my act together when I realized I needed the grades to get a good job. And examples like that are minor. I have 3 - who knows if one will struggle with drugs or drinking, with mental health issues that could be made worse with no purpose, with motivation issues etc etc.  Millions of dollars in cash with no carrots or sticks tied to it will make any of these problems worse and I’m not delusional to think I can somehow parent so perfectly that I will raise 3 perfect kids with no struggles in the transition to adulthood

DH and I also made a lot of money and their college, first cars and other needs will be met. They’re already starting adulthood on 3rd base but yes I want to make sure they’re motivated to see run home (bad analogy but you get the gist)

And yes they are mad  at us because we pushed back when they tried to move on our street, because we won’t let the 4yo stay with them the full summer, bc I get annoyed when they give the 4yo hundreds of dollars in cash telling him he doesn’t “have to do chores for quarters at home anymore because he can now buy anything he wants”.  The 4yo has adhd and a sensory processing disorder that causes behavioral problems, with the guidance of a neuropsych we have him in an evidence based program that involves earning toys and other rewards, so yes I push back at the 2x a month of average “surprise” presents they try to send him, and yes I push back on my fil telling my kids things like “you can have secrets with grandpa - we can have special things just between you and me” for many many reasons.  They’re wild [/quote]

OP, where does your husband stand on all of this? Could he ask his parents for a copy of the trust so you all can determine what it acutally says? It might be fine and you are worrying for nothing. Any good trusts and estates attorney would have recommended to them certain provisions for access to the money. Most recommend not having full access until 30, 35 or 40 depending on the attorney. They should have appointed one or more trustees who will likely be your DH and siblings or other relatives or an attorney/accountant who are conservative by nature. Hopefully if you see what the trust documents actually say, you will feel better and if they are something crazy like they get millions outright at 18 your DH can work with them to get some better structure in place.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics