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[quote=Anonymous]An honest question op. Is there some cultural component to this? How were you raised as opposed to how they raise kids?
Is it also possible that you have dug in, perhaps unnecessarily in drawing the line, because you might be somewhat similar to your FIL?
Is that why you are butting heads? It is very common in many cultures that kids spend all summers in other countries with their grandparents, I am not saying you should allow it if you are not comfortable with it, I am just saying it is often done in immigrant families to help working parents out.
What if you went for a few weeks and made it into a nice vacation, regardless of where ILS place is, in the States or if they wanted to treat you all to a nice vacation somewhere fancy?
What if you invite them over for a couple of weeks, suggest they stay in a hotel though. They are clearly still energetic enough, all this might change as they age more. They will have less energy and less desire to be with kids.
Your kids are young and you have no idea yet how they will turn out, what their work ethnic, etc. will be.
It appears to me that your FIL has dug in because you have dug in with some totally irrelevant control issues.
Stop projecting your fear to your kids as well. 
Perhaps loving grandparents can be an awesome thing for kids' self esteem?[/quote]

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