Reply to Is it weird to ask to wear protection?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mid 40s single mom here. So one of the things that I’ve found while dating is that men don’t like to wear protection. Most of them will, but don’t like it. For a variety of reasons, I prefer to use condoms (even if I’m on the pill). I can’t really relax otherwise. I keep hearing some variation of “we can just get tested” or “you have trust issues” or “what’s the big deal.” It makes me feel like I’m the only woman asking for this. Am I being crazy?[/quote]

OP, are you also the OP of the thread asking if it's "weird" for a guy you saw pre-pandemic to ask you about your sexual history since then?

That OP is also a 40s single mom, also not interested in a relationship, and is also interested in no-strings-attached sex.

Wondering since both that post and this one are crowdsourcing whether specific sexual things are "weird." If that's you in both these threads, maybe there's a bigger picture of your wanting reassurance on this forum that what you're experiencing as you have sex with different guys is the norm? Maybe the larger question is if the men are, to be blunt, quality? Where are you meeting men, and how quickly are you proceeding to sex with them, if you're concerned about these things? To be clear: I'm not judging, OP, but genuinely wondering if the "is this weird" questions are coming up because you're having sex with men you don't quite know well enough to trust that you can directly [i]ask them[/i] about protection, sexual history, why they want your sexual history, etc. These are things that two adults having sex should feel able to be very frank about, if they want to avoid STDs, pregnancy, or getting into a situation that could be risky (such as one person suddenly pressuring the other for acts that weren't on the agenda). If you're posting here I'm taking that to mean you're leery of having sufficiently frank discussions with these dates, or you're worried that if you do, they'll be turned off. And we're back to whether you and they know each other at least well enough to be as frank as you need to be for your own safety as well as pleasure.

Again, not judging, just wondering if there's a pattern or concern bigger than these individual questions and if it's to do with the men, or where you're meeting them, or how you're approaching NSA sex.[/quote]

Different poster. I am the other poster of the other thread that you were referring to and I’m not the OP of this thread. I am not looking for complete casual. Monogamous casual long term. There is a difference. And I am upfront with the one person I am sleeping with at a time about testing (and I use condoms and the pill). In my experience in my entire life I’ve never had an face of questions about a partner when somebody was not in my life for more than a year (at any point in my life, which is why I asked if it was weird in the other thread). You are the one judging and making assumptions. Both me and the poster of this thread are simply asking what other people‘s experiences are… because it’s different than it was 15 years ago. [/quote]

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