Reply to How can I get him to stop doing this, or train myself not to be bothered?

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[quote=Anonymous]This would royally p**s me off too, op. It’s difficult nd frustrating to have a meal ready only to have your husband not be there especially wen if it was a hot date, a work meeting, a sports event, you know and he knows he’d manage to be there on time.  He’s doing this because he can and you really can’t stop it, it’s not like you can say “Kitchen’s closed, come back at breakfast” and mean it.

To the people who call you psycho for checking his location, op probably mentioned this so all you turkeys wouldn’t come on and say “he’s cheating” or “you just never know” or “It doesn’t take that long to f**ck the secretary”.

First, does he stop to do things you ask him to do like pick up dry-cleaning?  Do you tell him “When you get here, don’t plan on going out again tonight, I need your ass at home so get whatever you need to do done before you get here?”  Only you know this.

As for what you do, that’s up to you. If my husband was doing this in my marriage, and it was the only issue, it soon wouldn’t be mostly because the lack of consideration isn’t isolated, it will creep into other things. 
IF it were me, I’d not get him a plate or wait for him, dinner is whenever you want dinner.  His food preferences would no longer matter, if I wanted tuna and he wanted chicken (my husband won’t eat tuna) we’d be having tuna.  I’m not going to cook for someone who literally can’t or won’t be bothered to show up to the table.  I’d also tell him that take-out is what you want and he will be bringing it home for you and him. This won’t work every night but it will take the pressure off of you some evenings.  If you want sushi for dinner one night, tell him he needs to bring it home.  If you want Mexican, tell him he needs to bring it home. Let him know that he is depriving you and the kids of family time and you of adult conversation.  I’m assuming that you talk about things at least you and he like that the conversation isn’t all about the kids all the time.  I’m assuming also that you have stuff to tell him that you like not a list of complaints, or that he understands when you say “That b**ch at the library” or whatever, he does need to be aware when it’s conversation and when it’s complaining. You can also say Dinner happens every night but sex won’t if you aren’t home on time”    
I get it op, everybody needs to eat, and a husband who thinks so little as to not be home for supper would infuriate me. I might even go so far as to cry and say I feel like a single mom, because sometimes tears are the only way men seem to know when we’re fed up. 
I’ll also add that you aren’t wrong to want this, everybody telling you that you are is conducting their marriage in the way they see fit. You can do the same.  
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