Reply to Talk to me about having a second kid

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Talk to me about having a second kid"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After having my son last year, I have thought more about just being "one and done" than I would have ever expected. My husband and I are both from families of two. I saw myself having two. No question. For several months I was thinking about having just one, but now that he's getting to be a little older, I really do think I want to have a second. I have a great relationship with my brother, and I know that it's not always an automatic best friend, but I believe I do want him to have a sibling, and I would love to have another child.

However, I had a difficult pregnancy, really difficult birth experience where I was in the hospital for a week before the birth with severe preeclampsia, son had a week-long NICU stay, I lost my job of 10 years due to a mass layoff during my maternity leave. Found a new job. Started a new job. Battles over COVID vaccination with my family who are Trump supporters. 2 months of daycare closures. Husband going through a career change and working very long hours. It's been a long ass year. We both work demanding jobs (albeit mine is between the hours of 9-5) and our son is in daycare full-time.

We have a cleaning person come every 2 weeks, I have someone come for an hour or two twice a week in the mornings to do errands, neatening, dishes, laundry-type chores for me so I can work and not feel like I have to worry about extra stuff. I exercise every day. Son is a great sleeper and goes down at 7:30. Husband gets home at 10.

I feel like after a tumultuous last year, I'm just sort of settling into a routine where I've figured out what help I need. I'm throwing money at some things. I spend time with son on weekend while husband works (he works full time and is in part-time school) and meet up with friends and their kids.

I do feel fairly confident I want a second, but I'm nervous to feel like I'm starting all over again. I do see a therapist so I'm working through some of the negative affiliations I have around the concept of pregnancy/birth because I do want to try for another at some point, but I think because SO MUCH seemed to go wrong right off the bat, I don't feel like I'm approaching the decision with a "normal" experience to go off, so it's hard to feel clear-headed about it. I'm 35, and while I'm not chomping at the bit to get pregnant again, I feel like we need to decide within another year or so what our "plan" is. However, with my husband's career change, the long hours are going to continue (laywer), and I'm a little nervous about just some of the logistical things like handling both by myself when it feels like a lot sometimes just handling one. Or returning to the newborn stage. Neither set of grandparents is available for assistance, but maybe it's just enough that we have the housekeeper/cleaner service. I'm just not sure what I'll need and I'm not someone who just wants to "take the leap!" without having a general sense of how I'll do this.

Any insight? Sorry if this is just rambly. but I have to imagine there are others on here who are busy, have jobs, and have two kids. Any advice or thoughts is greatly appreciated!![/quote]

Can we stop with the “ people who don’t vaccinate are Trump supporters”? Trump himself is vaccinated and has urged other to get vaccinated. I know several Trump supporters who got vaccinated, and several Democrats who didn’t. Most anti-vaxxers ( against all vaccines) are hippie liberals. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics