Reply to Husband never admits he's wrong

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure either of the examples you gave are situations necessarily worthy of an admission or apology. For you to claim your DH "never" admits he's wrong, I was expecting something more egregious.

Why is it important to you that he admits when he's wrong?  Is it because you need to be right?  Are you just annoyed by his reaction? Do you expect him to react the same way you would?

IME, people who cannot admit they are wrong usually were criticized and shamed growing up, and as an adult that gets triggered when someone points out that they are wrong about something.  Of course, no one likes to be wrong, but people with healthy self-esteem and self-worth don't always take it personally.  Because we don't internalize it, it's easier to apologize or acknowledge what we did.  Confronting someone who has a lot of shame or insecurity usually doesn't end well and doesn't elicit the kind of response you want. With your DH, you might say "hey! the dishwasher is running!" and depending on your tone of voice and volume, he might hear "You idiot, the dishwater is on! Why are you so stupid?"

Rather than confront your DH with a sharp tone or using critical words, you'l need to approach him differently depending on what you are looking for.  In the hair brushing example, you might say, "DD's head is really sensitive and her hair gets snarled easily, so it can get painful when we're brushing her hair.  Laughing at her really hurt her feelings."  Or something like that because the goal is for him to - at a minimum - recognize what he did and how it made her feel and ideally, not do it again.

Lastly, I'll say that sometimes people who aren't good at apologizing or admitting fault might do so in their own way - by doing something nice for you or being extra sweet later.  Of course, depending on the situation, sometimes the apology IS necessary but sometimes it's really not.  And to be clear, I'm not suggesting that you are the only one who needs to adjust your approach or expectations. It is also necessary for him to understand the appropriate way to respond to a situation and to not internalize it if he did screw up.  But you can't control him and you might find that making small adjustments on your end helps a bit.[/quote]

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