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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you all for your advice and input— it’s really valuable.

So to clarify— this has been a long distance relationship the whole time. We got together (friends introduced us when I was visiting NC) after he had already moved and settled there.

He does want to marry me, so I guess I would be entitled to his health benefits and whatever survivor benefits his pension offers; haven’t asked him about that. He plans to leave his estate, which is not huge, to his daughters.

He keeps saying that I don’t need to make as much money as I do, that I can live just fine on much less. While that’s true now, I’m looking ahead to what I need to save and invest to support myself 40 years from now.

He wouldn’t want to continue the relationship even if I kept this job, moved to NC and flew back and forth each week to my job. That would be too much focus on my job and not enough on “us.” He is encouraging me to find a less-stressful job that I can do from NC. Like I said earlier— not sure that exists, not for what I need to save in the next 10 years.[/quote]

Survivor benefits likely won't cover your lost investments and income over the next 10 years. Don't do it: I know many married couples who totally were able to make it work with distance marriage. The fact he's leaving his estate to daughters is not good either. Everything that's accumulated during marriage with income earned jointly with you should be left to you, not his daughters. Everything premarital to his daughters (maybe a trust etc.) This whole situation and marriage would require serious estate planning and contracting. [/quote]

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