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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A couple things.

Each pregnancy is very different.  Each newborn is very different.  Don't assume you'll have the same issues again but obviously talk to your doctor.

Wait and space at least 3 years apart and 4 is better.  Makes a MASSIVE difference.

100 percent get a nanny.  Don't fit it around daycare.  Just get a nanny.  Sounds like you can easily afford it.  That takes away a lot of the pain points of getting 2 kids out the door in the AM and getting somewhere to pick them up.  Way less disruptions for illness, etc.  You can put oldest in morning preschool.  Consider it an investment in your sanity.

I had 2 kids doing above with a husband who worked non-stop and traveled a lot when my kids were little and I held down a relatively demanding (but also time constrained) full-time job.

My kids are older now and no regrets.  [/quote]

I have 3 kids and agree with all of this except the spacing. My first two are 20 months apart and god it's perfect. They play together, are best friends - really, having 2 for me is easier than 1 would've been because they will literally play together for hours. Ymmv but I wouldn't suggest necessarily waiting.

You for sure just need a nanny. No more daycare. A nanny.[/quote]

I think if you are really kind of raising kids alone (fairly absent partner) and you're barely hanging on yourself and no family around to help, two infants at the same time can just bury you.   It would have buried me at least.  But I think some of you are stronger women than me and I envy/admire it.[/quote]

I had two kids 15 months apart at the start of covid, spouse who had just become a big law partner, no childcare or local family. That time is a blur. You don't know what you're capable of until you have to do it. [/quote]

DP, but things don't always work out well because they did for you.  Not everyone rises to the occasion.  Parents (mostly moms) can get severe postpartum depression/anxiety.  They can turn to alcohol to cope.  Kids can have severe special needs.  I think it's completely reasonable for the OP to think clearly about what supports she'll have, rather than white-knuckling it through a blur.

PP, you don't need to criticize yourself for not being "stronger."  You're human.  We all have different capacities for different things.  [/quote]

Where did I say they worked out well for me?[/quote]

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