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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. My parents are exactly like this. They live 90 min away but refuse to stay whenever they visit for more than a few hours. As soon as they arrive they talk about what time they need to leave and they already have one foot out the door.

To me it has always been very hurtful and stressful that they refuse to spend any significant amount of time with me and my kids. I am always happy to see them, have their favorite food/drinks on hand, keep a clean house, I SAH so my schedule is flexible, I’m willing to drive them anywhere they want, my kids are now early teens so there is no assumed babysitting involved. I also have an over 1,000 sq ft finished walk out basement with a den, full bath, bedroom, mini kitchen, laundry, etc where they could very easily stay (it’s like it’s own apartment, previous owners used it as one for their au pair).

At first my kids didn’t seem to notice how quickly they would leave but then they suddenly did. Why are you leaving already? Can you spend the night? How come you don’t stay for dinner? Where are you going? They would cry and get upset. Now they dont even get excited about the grandparents coming for lunch or to do a drive by to see their game because “they’re just going to leave in an hour anyway”.

I try very, VERY hard to facilitate a nice relationship with my children and my parents but they won’t come for more than 2-3 hours if they even come at all. My parents do spend a tremendous amount of time with my sister and her kids (who live near them, and no those kids are not better behaved than mine).  Who knows why we get such a raw deal but yes, it can be stressful and hurtful with the short visits. The grass isn’t always greener.

[/quote]

Thank you for understanding.

To the PP, it wasn’t always like this but as they’ve gotten older they just don’t leave their house for more than 4 days: 2 driving days and 2 visiting days. They’re not THAT old but it takes them all day to drive 5 hours. I don’t ask questions.

I’ve been clear their whole life to not project.

I think it’s super hard because my parents will totally play to the boys dreams.
“Yeah!!! We’ll go to Busch gardens with you!”
“Yeah!! We love Yorktown! Let’s go!”

They talk a big talk, but then they get here and they spend a couple hours. Again, I understand that my kids are stressful. Yes they have trouble with transitions. But to show up and leave so quickly? My 4 year old has whiplash.[/quote]

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