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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My SIL lives overseas.  She is single with no kids, never been married.  She is well off and has plenty of money.  She asked if she could stay with us for a "few weeks" including my MIL so that she can have knee surgery in the states.  She wants MIL there to help take care of her.  DH and I have crazy, hectic lives. He travels frequently for work. I work full time from home and have 2 kids, ages 6 and 9.  When SIL and MIL visit, the kids are intense. They want to spend every second with them and sleep with them at night.  My parents are already coming for a week in May.  If I have to have back to back visitors for an entire month (or likely longer) when the kids are in school, I might literally lose my mind. It will be so disruptive and the kids will never go to sleep at night. I told DH this is an unreasonable request.  She has money and can rent a place for a month if having the surgery in the US is that important. Having to go to sleep and wake up with people in my house everyday just takes its toll on me.  We have a large house but I don't think this means I have to offer it anytime someone wants it.  Am I being unreasonable? How would you handle it?[/quote]
It is not an unreasonable request, but you can say 'no' if the arrangement does not work for you.

I would say though that big part of you 'crazy, hectic life' is likely to be your mindset. You work full time and your kids are at school from morning till afternoon. That's neither crazy nor hectic. Having family in the house is 'so disruprive' that you will 'literally lose your mind'? Let the kids spend time with the family in the evenings (might actually give you some freedom during those hours) and then say just 'no' to them sleeping with the MIL, SIL. You run the household, not the 9 and 6 year olds. No need to make a problem out of everything.[/quote]

It is not a mindset.  My husband travels a few days a week and my kids attend 2 different schools.  I have to get 2 kids ready in the morning and drive them to two different schools. I have to pick them up in the afternoon at 2 different times while I'm trying to work.  I then have to make dinner and manage bedtime by myself and then have to go back to my desk to get the work done that I wasn't doing when I was picking them up. One kid is having all sorts of behavior issues at school. I take that child to therapy appointments each week and have to deal with communications with the school every week.  Sleep is critical for both my kids.  It sounds easy to say "no" to sleeping together but even if that worked, they will fight bedtime every night because they are so overstimulated by visitors.  MIL was just here for 5 days.  Kids would not go to bed on time. Every night was 2 hours later than usual.  [/quote]

Other than maybe the first few days, your SIL will not require your MIL to be in constant attendance, so your MIL will be available to help with the kids.  [/quote]

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