Reply to Dealing with less intelligent spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here again.  Kids, Covid and the political landscape of the last few years have all been very difficult and highlighted issues that simply were not issues while dating and/or in early marriage.  His mother and sister have always been very involved in his life, which is how I suspect he got by before us meeting (i.e., he purchased a home and lived independently, had a career, etc., but they have always babied and catered to him even though he's the oldest). He is anti-counseling (he's never been, but has convinced himself he's not a person who needs it).  With respect to ADHD, I have often thought maybe he has learning difficulties/issues.  I am hesitant to suggest he get tested. Wrt to our own kids, he has mentioned how he doesn't believe in all the labels, would never medicate our kids, thinks kids need more discipline/firmer hand, etc.  So I don't see him being open to it and I think perhaps it would be another thing he thinks I'm judging him about. [/quote]

That's too bad OP. If he won't consider help. All you can manage are the symptoms and decide if you want to deal with this until the kids are older.[/quote]

12:13 here.  You should know there is a genetic component and your kids could inherit it.  If that's the case, you should review the research done on ADHD and life outcomes.  Your DH seems to exemplify what untreated ADHD looks like in adulthood.  Learning disabilities, anxiety and depression are frequently comorbid with ADHD.  Your DH has the right to choose how he does/does not handle his ADHD.  If your kids have ADHD, you're going to want to advocate for them even in the face of his opposition. 
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