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[quote=Anonymous]This was a dynamic I had with my XH. It is not the reason we divorced, but I can tell you how I managed.

Try to remember all the good things about him. All of us have good and bad traits. Not being an organizer or strategist is not a deal breaker. Let him do the tasks he likes. Does he take the kids to his sporting events, clean the yard, fix broken stuff in the house, fold laundry, cook or do dishes. These may be areas where he excels.

Set a weekly family check-in where you go over the events for the week. Write them down in a place he can see. I like to put stuff on my phone calendar. I’d add DH when I did so he’d have a place to see it as well. Other than the weekly checkin, try not to give him stuff to do at other times. I really hate when my husband tries to tell me something when I’m otherwise engaged. He claims I don’t remember what he’s saying, when I’m just not really paying attention to him.

For the political stuff, just don’t talk politics. If he brings it up, just say you have different views, so it’s not a good topic. Or grey stone him - just nod ok and change the subject. You don’t have to have the same views to have a life together.

I would take a step back and reevaluate your lack of respect for him. Individual counseling can help you work through your feelings. He can tell you don’t respect him. No love and bonding can occur when you feel that your partner doesn’t value you. What do you want to happen here?  Make your actions reflect that goal.

Radical acceptance. He is who he is. Trying to make him pay bills, plan vacations, or make repair calls are things you know he’s bad at doing. Just do those tasks yourself. Plenty of other household tasks he can do.

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