Reply to My teen is obsessed with being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD/Austism and I am exhausted

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Reply to "My teen is obsessed with being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD/Austism and I am exhausted"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please go read on ADDItude what some common ADHD symptoms are in young women before you write her off. 
Rejection sensitivity
Perfectionism
Difficulty starting or finishing tasks
Procrastination followed by hyperfocus 
Being clumsy - bumping into things, not having sense of her body in space
Etc.

Maybe it’s TikTok, maybe it’s the pandemic, maybe it’s real. [/quote]

I’m one of the many adult women who’s pretty sure I have ADHD (and probably mild ASD) but never got diagnosed and probably never will. This list is basically my whole personality. I don’t even know what would be left if I didn’t have this list of traits! Um always torn between wondering how life would have been better and/or easier if I’d had support, and feeling it all turned out well despite the lack. DD is now hoping to go through the diagnosis process, and it all seems like such an expensive nightmare in this area. I understand her need but still have been putting it off.

OP, when DD gets fixated on something, I usually try to model ways of thinking as part of my response. Something like, “I imagine it will be a great relief to hear what the docs have to say. But unfortunately, nothing to do except be patient till we get the report in a few weeks.” Said lovingly and not dismissively, of course. We are facing a big school decision in a year, and every time DD brings it up (often!), I go with some variation of “That will be a big choice, but we’ve still got a year. Lots of things can change in a year. I recommend we try for anything that interests you so we have the choices. But you won’t have to make the actual choice till then.” Over time, it can become a model for how they talk to themselves in the face of their own anxiety. [/quote]

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