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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Instead, they choose to stay put in a precarious situation which they can no longer afford. If they want to do that, [b]we CAN LEND them the money[/b] after we sell my aunt's house, but we WILL put a lien on their house so we are paid back after they both pass. [b]That will cut into my sister and brother's inheritance[/b], which will piss them off, but tough crap.[/quote]

Nope, then definitely do not offer to do that. (See post above).  Stop telling anyone (parents, sister, brother) that you have the ability to pay for your parents' care.  Sell the aunt's house.  Save the profits, they are your inheritance from your aunt, correct?

You do not have any money to help your parents.     The offers you make that are contingent upon this or that are not hitting rational ears, including the ears of your sister and brother.  If they are counting on an inheritance from your parents home, they are also not rational.  Who do they think is going to pay for their parents' care, if not from the sale of their house?

[/quote]

I'd agree if it was five years ago. They are now 86 and 87 so rational or not, the chances of both living another 5 years is pretty small, so the most practical solution at this point, I've decided,  is to let them stay where they are with money lent from the sale of the house. Yes my sister and brother are counting on that money (more my brother, not my sister as she will collect a nice SS payment and pension when she's 65). My brother has created his own issues and I'm not very empathetic due to his decisions. My sister, however, has put in the hard work, so really I'm more focused on her.

There were so many better solutions 5 years ago, but that was in the past and I have to see this situation as it is right now. [/quote]

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