Reply to Bar mitzvah invitation expectations/etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find your tone offensive OP. It sounds like the Mitzvah boy’s parents were being inclusive and inviting the entire grade. If your son doesn’t want to go, politely decline the invitation.

Often the hosts will rent buses to take the kids from the service to the reception especially in an arrangement like this but it’s not required. If this is the case it’s usually noted on the imitation. If it’s too inconvenient for you to find him a carpool or wait for him during the service, just decline.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that OP would be “irked” by her son receiving a bar mitzvah invitation from a family that’s clearly trying to be celebratory and inclusive. [/quote]

OP here.  Wow, you are making a lot of assumptions.  The whole grade was not invited, just a handful of kids.  From what I understand from my son, this boy doesn't seem to have many friends at school (not mean or anything, just a bit socially awkward - weren't a lot of us at that age?).  He and my son are friendly because they live nearby and sometimes walk home from school together.  At first I also thought it might be a whole-grade invitation, but once I got the sense it wasn't I talked to my son and he decided to go because he gets that it would suck to do all that work and not have friends show up for you on your big day.  I emailed the parents to get more information about the logistics so that's all squared away, and my son found a couple of friends who are also invited and got them on board as well so he won't feel awkward if he doesn't know anyone there.  Problem solved.[/quote]

Wow yourself, OP. In a later post you wondered why on earth your child was invited and said you were irked. Yes, incorrectly assumed they invited the whole grade but then we come to see that, no, the mitzvah boy is socially awkward and doesn’t have many friends.

Look- I’m glad your son found some friends to go with and that the transportation is taken care of. I just found your posts to be a bit hurtful and I’d assume the family of this boy would as well.

To the PP who said that kids shouldn’t skip the service, I simply disagree. We didn’t even invite most kids to the service for my son. To each his own.[/quote]

OP was pretty clear she was irked by the lack of information in the invitation, not by the invitation itself.  It’s okay to admit you were wrong and just step away from the discussion. [/quote]

NP. I think the irked poster is in the right. It's disgusting how she talks about the socially awkward kid. [/quote]

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