Reply to Bar mitzvah invitation expectations/etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's the equivalent of a birthday party, just with services added. No, parents don't attend with their kids unless you're friends with the parents. It's often fine to skip the services part... just ask the parents. [/quote]

That’s not really helpful to OP given the logistics.

Sounds like a big hassle.[/quote]

At least when I grew up, many of the kids skipped the services part and just went to the reception. That's the point -- if the kid doesn't need to go to services then the parent can just drive them to the reception. Easy. Same as any other birthday party. [/quote]

Nobody skipped the services when I was a kid, and nobody skipped the services when my kids got bar/bat mitzvah'd. That would be the rudest thing ever. Totally inappropriate.[/quote]

My child would never skip but I do understand sometimes kids may have other plans in the morning but their friends want to celebrate with them during the party. I don't think it's that black and white.[/quote]

It's nice if my kid can go, but the problem is for kids, like mine, who have something standing every Saturday morning. Then 7th grade comes and you might have a lot of Jewish friends or go to a private school where it is customary to invite the whole class (I had one of each of these situations) and it's also not great for the kid to miss so many Saturdays of their activity. So, I guess you have to decide on your etiquette. My kids made a point to go to services for their close friends, but often, it's just the party. [/quote]

My child has actually had to skip the party a few times but made a point of going to the service, even if not close friends, to show support and be part of the celebration. My child is not Jewish but several BFFs are so DC knows how big of a deal it is for everyone involved.[/quote]

Same here. The only time my daughter missed a service was when she was invited to two in one day and same timing. She chose the service for one and the party for the other.

Otherwise she goes to the service. I can’t imagine telling the parents. Sorry Suzy has soccer so she can’t make the service. But she will party with you tonight!  :roll:  It’s terrible etiquette. [/quote]

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