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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Right, so, you're in the easy part!  It gets WAY harder when you're splitting time with in-laws, [b]dragging little children from household to household[/b], dealing with step-relatives and all the problems and drama they can bring, and trying to deal with two (or four!) really old people in separate locations.  Don't think it's always going to be this simple.

It's really salt in the wound how my parents congratulate themselves on being so amicable and so much happier, yet they expect me to do a ton of work to accommodate their divorce and new relationships.  If I was only putting in the amount of effort that an adult child of a happy marriage has to do, they'd be much less happy with it.  But my children would also lose out in that scenario, so I carry on. It sucks.[/quote]
Would visiting your parents be also 'dragging little children' to their place, or does it only turn into dragging when it's two places to visit, instead of one?[/quote]

See, it's not just visiting one *home*.  It's visiting one family (mom and her boyfriend), with everything they want to do and everywhere they want to go.  And then visiting another (dad and his wife) with their activities and everything.  Both sides are trying to cram their stuff into half the time.  And there's way more people to plan around and compromise with-- stepsiblings and the boomers' own parents and everything.

Eventually I had to put my foot down and refuse to leave either house to visit new-partner extended family.  They come to us or we don't see them.  But because my mom is trying to play Matriarch of a Big Happy Family, she's constantly going on about how all "the cousins" (meaning my kids and her boyfriend's grandkids) get along so well.  But of course we're not a happy family, they don't get along, and I'm not willing to invest any time or effort in this charade.  But this is the kind of thing I'm talking about when I say "dragging my kids around"-- it's not just going to their houses, it's the whole holiday dealie.  And no matter what time of year it is, they're going to be trying to cram their stuff into half the time, and trying to make me spend time with various people that I don't care about and would literally never see again if they broke up.[/quote]

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