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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Read marry him by Laurie gotleib. Someone else will inevitably respond and say “that book is the worst,” but they’re not going to help you in this situation. I read the book at 23 even though it’s geared towards 30 somethings and it changed my outlook on dating immensely. So happy I read it when I did. She will help you hone in on what your essentials are when dating and what is “nice to have”[/quote]

Don’t do this. Don’t use self help books to find a man. Most of those books are written by people who have more problems then you do. Psychologists are usually crazy and have so many problems. [/quote]

Respectfully disagree. That particular book made me much more aware of the stupid reasons I was still dating the wrong guys who always ended up disappointing me. I was prioritizing the wrong things in dating and relationships. This book helped me distill my priorities and open my mind. You have to be relatively certain of what your few non negotiable traits are in a spouse (things like common religion, intelligence, similar lifestyle/religion, kindness, humor, and so on), view the rest of your list as “nice to have” and be open minded about what your person who possesses the traits most important to you ends up being like.

Most of us either have a very specific picture of we want or get charmed/distracted by someone who doesn’t meet our core needs. If OP is serious about getting married, she needs to know a few things she’s looking for and focus on finding that (OP- if you find “egomaniac” doctors annoying, maybe one of your core needs is humility. But you don’t get more than three to five of these.) You’re going to have to compromise, because nobody will fit your ideal, and the pool only narrows as you get older as people pair off and individuals generally become even more selective. But compromising is not settling. [/quote]

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