Reply to Hosts expecting you to chip in for their party

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Today good manners have been kicked aside in favor of expediency, greed ( of which your friend is guilty),  and rude has become the "in" thing because "people are just too,  too busy to be polite"  Is it possible she and her DH simply do not know better?  If you think this is the case, then this is an opportunity to help her by explaining to her that this is simply not done once one is out of college.  Please let us know how she reacts when you tell her the truth.  Think of it as a teaching moment.[/quote]

OP here. Friend is the sensitive type. She would probably be highly offended and/or embarrassed. I have to see her at least once a week, so I'd rather avoid the dramatics.

I do think it's a case of them not knowing better...but this is not something she's looking to change. She views this more as "We're all going to get together and "put in" to have some fun". She doesn't realize that by hosting, it usually means you're absorbing the costs. Of course, I don't know how/why she doesn't get the distinction because she doesn't "put in" on any gathering I host.

So....I'm tempted to tell her the truth, but I know that it will result in hurt feelings. [/quote]

If she and her DH are not aware of how gauche this is, then, as her friend, you need to tell her.  Her feeling will be a lot worse if she pulls something like this with her boss, DH's boss, or colleague she doesn't know well.  Do her a favor.[/quote]

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