Reply to Hosts expecting you to chip in for their party

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think you're overreacting; however, you know your friend the best? Maybe she's not in the position to truly host a party, but wants all her friends to gather. $40 is steep, but for costs less than that, it's cheaper than going out to eat, plus higher quality/healthier food. If you think she's trying to make money off people, or be cheap, than that's a different story, but what is her financial situation like? Is it possible that she doesn't have the funds to actually host a real party? When you guys go to other homes, does she offer to pay her portion? Or maybe no one else in your group wants to host; therefor, she thinks this is normal?[/quote]

OP here.

-I don't think it's a case of her not being in a position to host. More like I stated "Let's all get together and put in on some_________" The only thing that threw me is that she extended the invitation like a party hosting. "Would you like to come to a ______ bash"? THEN, once I agree to come, she hits me with the money request. I would have felt different about this if she's started off with the "Let's all get together......." angle.

-I don't think she's trying to make money, I just think she wants to host a party without really hosting a party. She basically is just providing the venue.

-When I (or my family) have hosted parties, she doesn't bring anything.....not a dish, not a bottle of wine, not anything. We aren't the type that expect anything, so it isn't an annoyance. It is however irritating that when she (or her family) host, they expect you to "put in".

[/quote]

OP, I totally get it. I am the one who was asked to chip in $40.
These "friends" have been invited to our house a couple of times before. They always have come empty handed, which was fine, because we never ask anyone to bring anything. This in unfortunately true for the rest of our friends. When we host, we ask you not bring anything, but when our friends host they expect us to provide drinks or bring a dish or too. Have a potluck once in a while, that's fine, but to have your guests provide the food every time you host is not cool. I hate that when we are invited somewhere my first thought has to be, what do I have to make? Why can't people just be invited and show up with a bottle of wine?[/quote]

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