Reply to How to talk to 9yo about overeating

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 9yo DD has gotten chubby over the past 2 years and while she eats a balanced diet, she eats a lot - adult sized portions, and sometimes even more than I do. She constantly tells us she is hungry, but often when I offer fruit or something healthy she will decline and just wait until the next meal… so I don’t know if she is actually hungry all the time.

Last weekend we were at my mom’s house all day Sunday and in the early afternoon my mom found some candy wrappers stuffed in a tissue box (she has a big bowl of candy in her living room). She asked who are it and we all assumed it was DD, although she denied it. The only people there were my mom, me, 9yo DD, my 4yo DS and my 3yo niece… but the 2 younger kids weren’t alone at all and I highly doubt if they did eat any candy they would think to hide the wrappers vs just throw them on the floor. My DH said something to DD which was essentially that we know it was her and that its completely unacceptable and she couldn’t have dessert that night. She was upset and swore it wasn’t her.

Anyway, my mom called me today and said she found even more wrappers and she is very concerned that DD is sneaking food. I have no idea it if was her or not, but she seems to be the most likely culprit. At the same time, my mom is concerned that if we keep talking to DD reminding her to eat slower, to make healthy choices and stop eating when she feels full we are going to give her an eating disorder or make her keep sneaking food. We try to do it in a calm way and not confrontational or accusatory, but it is a constant conversation.

So, what do we do here? How do we talk to her in a positive way that doesn’t give her a complex or make her resort to sneaking food? For what it’s worth, I have never seen anything like this at our house. We have treats and I keep a close eye on them.[/quote]

This interaction that you are describing is so abusive.  She took food from a bowl that was placed in the open, presumably for guests to enjoy.  Then she was shamed and punished for it.  It's entrapment.

Read Ellyn Satter, and really think about why you allowed your child to be treated this way.  [/quote]

This!  Don’t leave candy out right in front of people if you don’t want them to eat it!  [/quote]

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