Reply to How many nights to stay when moving kid into dorms? Advice BTDT please

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Has anyone gone on medication temporarily to get through this? I know I sound like a loon but even reading through this is almost giving me a panic attack. I really want DC to be happy and not ruin it with physical manifestations of my emotional heart being ripped out but I cannot see any way to control myself as I have been dreading this for about 10 years.   I just get along so well with DC and even though I have other kids I *adore* and a busy job and life, it truly feels like the end of the best years of my life (as a mom having all my kids in my nest) and I mourn it like impending death.  And I feel terrible for casting a pall over such an exciting time because while I will be super happy for them, I will be breaking into a million pieces for me.[/quote]

I’ve dealt with significant anxiety and depression most of my life, and wrong approach. You take anti-anxiety  meds to numb the feelings and then you don’t deal with them— until you stop medicating.  And no one responsible would give you more than a very short term Valium or Xanax prescription.  And clinical depression is different than experiencing a real loss.  Prozac won’t “cure” it, because your feeling are in proportion to the situation.   You have a situational problem, not a mental illness. And to some extent, it’s a loss, so you need to feel bad for a while.  It’s like a death in the family.  Tranquilizer your brains out for a while, but eventually you end up in rehab or the Max cuts you off— and the loss is still there. And it’s worse for you, because your friends with similarly aged kids have gotten through the hard first few weeks and and finding a new normal.  And you’re all alone.

I would strongly recommend that you make an appointment with a therapist— like, tomorrow, because post Pandemic there are waiting lists. And do some CBT. Talk through and understand your feelings that the best part of your life is over (it probably isn’t), sit on her sofa and cry and let your darkest feeling out and work with her to develop some coping mechanisms and a plan to ease the transition. You’ll still feel sad, but you can definitely make it easier. [/quote]

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