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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A week ago we were at church and after church attended a luncheon.  A friend of ours was visiting and went with us.  His wife died of cancer in October after it was discovered at the end of August.  Many, many people were unaware that 1) she had cancer, and 2) that she died.  This friend and his wife were well known in our community.  I cannot tell you how many people saw him and innocently asked "Where's Larla?  I want to see her!"  Our friend simply said "I am sorry to tell you that Larla passed away in October, not related to Covid.  [b]It was very sudden and I really don't feel like talking about it right now.  Thank you for understanding.[/b]"  Every single person who heard that, including some of our busiest busybodies, honored that request.

My point is that many posters here are assuming that everyone knows that your spouse or sibling or child has died.  Many people don't.  When they ask after that person, try to remember that they probably have good intentions, not bad.  And understand that of course they are going to be shocked if they thought your loved one was alive and they just found out the loved one is deceased.  Most people don't set out to be a-holes.  So if you have someone in your life who is deceased, and you don't want to talk about it, come up with what you're going to say and then keep repeating to yourself that they didn't know it was going to upset you because, you know, they didn't.

I am sorry for your loss, OP.[/quote]

"I prefer not to talk about it. [b]Thank you for understanding.[/b]"

That's the best answer. Anyone who presses for details after hearing that is a complete glassbowl.[/quote]

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