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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who never participated in Greek Life (my college did not have sororities/fraternities) I am curious how students choose which ones to rush or how it works in general.  Let's say a kid goes to school in the south and decides to rush for a fraternity, has no family who has ever done it and no idea which one is which, how does one select? Or do you rush and hope one selects you?  [/quote]

Guys just rush and hope someone you like picks you. Go to some events in the summer and meet some guys with similar interests if it’s really important to him. They have different personalities and some are “dry”, so he wants to get to know them too.

Girls get emotionally abused for 5 sleepless, gut-wrenching days in a row then “omg, love it!!” for a year then want nothing to do with the rush process again unless they like judging people and being in control. Fun stuff. The nice girls pay a fine to avoid it. An “adult” is in charge but she never matured past her junior year in college and DGAF about the emotional trauma the poorly designed process inflicts. [/quote]

Ooof.  Sounds like your experience wasn't good.  IMO you are the minority, not the majority.  Sorry that it still hurts.[/quote]

Well. There were a lot of girls in the same position that year because the school added a sorority that wasn’t popular and they limited pledge class sizes despite increased recruitment numbers to force girls into this new house so it would grow. Maybe if you’re from, say Vermont, and it’s all new to you, it doesn’t matter and you don’t notice or care. My daughter graduated from high school nearby and knew the drill. So more than 100 girls had no choices by mid week: just the one new house that no one wanted. In a normal rush, you have three houses to rank on the last night. Of course, the local paper said 98% matched because they don’t count the girls who drop out mid week regardless of the reason. It’s a phenomenally bad way to begin your college “experience” - feeling heartbroken, rejected, and lonely while watching so many girls proudly come to class in their new shirts and colors. A 25ish year old woman ran the whole thing and was applauded despite a record setting number of girls dropping out mid week with no match. They attempted to fill a house at the expense of about 100 18 year old girls’ first week experience on campus and their self-esteem. The “adult” sat with girls while they cried for a minute then said “she had to go”.   It’s the cruelest, ugliest, dumbest thing I’ve personally experienced. That university will never get a dime from us. [/quote]

So she felt rejected and judged, and then she rejected and judged the girls in that remaining sorority. That’s adorable. [/quote]

This-^ My DD rushed this spring (and by the way I think fall freshman rush is awful - how the heck can they know anything at that point??). She had her sights set in mid to upper mid tier sororities but she was flexible. She had some rush dates and was a legacy with another house so she felt she would have some good options. Well she was dropped by 11 houses after one 15 minutes zoom meeting, including the place she was a legacy at and all the places she did rush dates with. You might say, wow what a loser! But in fact she’s a great kid, very popular but not rich and probably came across a bit quieter on the zoom than she did in real life. The fact of the matter is that it’s a numbers game. She thought seriously of dropping but found several friends in the same boat and they all decided to continue for the time being. She went through the process to the end and ended up at a house she has never heard of and was not on her radar and it’s perfect for her. My point in telling this sordid story is that the girls in the above story that had the option of the new sorority had the opportunity to start something new but they were so set on being in the “popular” sorority that they decided to forgo altogether. It’s important to go into rush with no pre conceived notions and just be open to let the process work out. [/quote]

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