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[quote=Anonymous]As with so many things, I think the answer is, IT DEPENDS.

1. does she eat a great dinner, and I mean as much food as she wants, doesn't refuse to eat most of it and only want to fill up on bread, or one item?  is she NOT having a growth spurt? 
Then this is a child who eats well, doesn't have any food issues, and isn't a picky eater.  For this child, if bed is 2 hours after dinner or less, then I'd say offering just 2 or 3 options is fine.  the kitchen is closed, for goodness sake, and she's stalling.

2.  does she NOT eat a good dinner?  does she get up a lot and get distracted and not eat? is she picky and only eats 5 carrots and 3 bites of main course or whatever?  is she generally difficult to feed?
then i think she does need a larger snack before bed so she doesn't go to bed hungry, she doesn't wake up early because she's hungry, so maybe a few more substantial choices.  I still wouldn't be fixing 2nd dinner, but leftovers from dinner, another yogurt and crackers, hummus and crackers, something.

3.  For either of these, I'd ask her (at 3pm when she's calm, not at bedtime she she's crying and carrying on) what she does want for snack.  You can probably agree on something that fits both of your needs and her needs (again, depending on if she's #1 or #2 above).

AND I would offer snack - or remind to get snack - 30 minutes before bedtime, not at bedtime.  So if she wants a snack, have it at 7:30pm, because at 7:45pm you are going upstairs to brush teeth, pajamas, read books and bed.  Period.  that way it's not a delaying tactic - because there is no negotiation on snack.

Also, to get rid of negotiation, you could together come up with a list of items you usually have available and post on fridge.  it's 7:30? Go choose 2 of what you want and have snack. Otherwise, up the golden stairs at 7:45pm.  [/quote]

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