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[quote=Anonymous]This is normal, op. 
If your parents were alive, you’d have the same issues, they eat differently, they expect different things, their routine is different. 
My parents don’t drink coffee, we do.  They have the tv on at high volume all the time, we don’t, and we like some of the same things, nascar, baseball and I’ve even got my dad to care a little bit about hockey. Still, that tv always on, always at high volume drives me nuts.  Likewise, they aren’t fans of my background noise, old-time radio shows or music from the 1940’s. Yes, you read that right.

There are certain foods we eat that they absolutely won’t eat, and I won’t even try, it’s not my job to coax them like toddlers.

They understand the value of being in shape, yet I’ve only heard them make disparaging comments about people who have home excersize equipment, I am convinced it’s generational.  I love my treadmill, it’s comfortable, it’s there, and I can go do it whenever I want.  I also feel safer as a woman using it, I’m literally in my own home.  They simply don’t understand that.  If they knew about my treadmill, and I don’t think they do, they’d view it as wasting time.  They also don’t understand my weighted blanket.

They also seem to have a mental block in some things, I can remember my dad saying about one of our kids “Why the f**ck does she need to be in a booster seat, you weren’t in one at that age” and he’s right, I wasn’t, nobody cared back in the early 1980’s.  I’m only speaking of my parents because to me this isn’t an in-law issue, and I love my parents. My husband and I saw a play a couple weeks back and one of the songs they played happened to be on a cd my mom gave me back when I was a teenager, a song I hadn’t heard in years. While we watched the play, I found myself thinking “mom would love this, all of it” and I think she would have.  She and my oldest daughter share an interest I didn’t even know my mom had until recently.  They are wonderful people and wonderful grandparents, but yes, a week with them would wear me out.

All of this, no matter how nice they are (and I am only speaking of my own parents) adds up, especially when you don’t have a husband around. Your in-laws have each other to snuggle with, smile at, go out with, you don’t, not when he’s on travel.

You are also probably wanting to do the good wife routine of welcoming him home too because he’s been away working and you’ve been home and home with help too, so how hard can it be?

I’d urge him not to travel so much. He was already gone, he doesn’t need to go again, not so soon.  I’d go so far as to say “If they want you someplace, they can pay to relocate us” something I told my husband once when he outlined a bunch of travel.

I’d also decide if you want the in-laws there when he’s not, they can find other things to do. Dial back on the “they live” talk, no, they don’t, trust me.

I’d let your husband know this travel stuff is wearing you out, physically and mentally.  Let him know he can say no to the travel even if it means taking another job. When you start getting angry, it’s time to figure out something else, a new job, or a new process, or a relocation, yes, anything is an option.

Figure out if there are things you can do while he’s gone and when he comes back that make life more pleasant, he can be tired, but can you guys do take-out for a couple nights or plan to do something fun with the kids?  He can’t minimize your comfort at the profit of his.

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