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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP is right that you cannot make your child go to court if there is any hope of a relationship with her. You need to let her move and then you need to do everything you can to build a relationship with her.

[b]I’m not sure what “rules” she is objecting to [/b]but taking a look at that might help you see where your bond broke down. I’m sorry. This must be so painful. [/quote]

The rules are doing chores and a bedtime on school nights. The only way to fix that is to not have her do chores and let her stay up as late as she wants.[/quote]

PP here. I know you’re hurt. But this is pretty black and white thinking. Maybe your daughter opened the door for negotiations. Maybe she’s ready for a range for bedtime and even some times of dealing with the consequences of being overtired. And you can make chores more palatable, like maybe by setting a time to do them together before a fun activity or whatever might work. [/quote]

+1 This is a really common issue for kids of divorce. Clearly you do your kid no favors by saying, "oh in that case, we just won't have any rules!" BUT, I do see primary parents (usually moms) who get really locked into being the "good parent", compensating for the looseness of the other parent by being very rule-bound. Some rules and limits are good for your child, but she's also at an age where she needs to feel some autonomy and she needs to feel all your love. Make sure you are taking time for fun, joy, and connection-even if that requires loosening some rules.[/quote]

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