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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Best thing I ever did was let my kids go live with their dad.

It was nonstop fights... we don't have to do this at dad's house, at dad's house we eat out all the time, dad doesn't have that rule... blah, blah, blah.

One day when they said they wanted to live with him, I snapped and told them to get packed. I'd call him and take them over.

That was a fun convo because he didn't want them fulltime. He knew he was in the "sweet position" of getting to be the fun parent and leave all the shit parts up to me.

Anyway, while they were in heaven, I got daily texts from him, begging me to convince them to come home. I told him they were home. Deal with it. It was my  turn to be the fun parent!

He got to deal with the consequences of them having no rules while at his place for a change. The phone calls and emails from school over work not being completed on Monday morning or a kid fall asleep because they were allowed to spend all night playing video games.

It lasted 4 months before both kids asked to move back with me. It was hard to watch them flouder and fail while away, but it was necessary. Even my therapist agreed when we talked about the situation. They needed to lean that the rules, which btw were not harsh or unreasonable, were there to protect them. You know, simple things like having a bedtime, homework done before video games, and keeping their rooms clean. During that time both kids went from being good students to failing many classes. They missed extracurricular lessons and sports practices if it wasn't my night with them. They learned that too much of a good thing is not a good thing.

That was almost 3 years ago and our relationships are amazing. And as a bonus, I've never heard "i want to live with dad" ever again and doubt I ever will. [/quote]

I think you handled this really well. You made this sound easy and that you got a break but if you’re relationships are repaired and excellent that speaks to a lot of work on your part. [/quote]

This was well played but what would have happened if Dad stepped up, kept the kids and then refused contact?[/quote]
Or if dad and kids accepted the consequences of poor grades, poor eating habits, poor sleep, etc. many don’t see the value of these things until much later in the game, when opportunities have been lost. [/quote]

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