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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He is otherwise so masculine and really turns me on but due to a surgery has pretty severe ED. WWYD. Can get it up with medical assistance (injections) but needless to say I was not expecting this. Don’t want to hurt his feelings and was totally accepting and supportive about it. We’re all only mortal after all. But, it’s a lot. [b]He is otherwise fantastic at foreplay/other stuff.[/b][/quote]

OP, it's a myth that "ideal" sex is PIV (sorry, hate that acronym but not sure if DCUM non-explicit rules will toss me out if I'm more direct). There's a sex therapy column in the Guardian newspaper by Pamela Stephenson and she often points out that there is much, much more to giving and receiving plenty of satisfying pleasure than just penetration. If you can only picture yourself being satisfied that way, try to think outside the box. If he's "fantastic" at other stuff, and the "other stuff" gets you where you want to go, so to speak -- is his being able to penetrate every time, or even most of the time, really that big a deal to you? Can you expand your repertoire with him to mutual use of toys etc.?

And is the issue his ED, or really more the idea of his having to use injections? Any chance that it's the idea of medical assistance and the associated delay, maybe waiting for things to take effect, that's affecting your thinking here? It's OK to admit it if it kind of freaks you out, or kills the mood sometimes. Admit it, but why let it end a relationship?

I'm not saying it's a problem to want or need penetrative sex--it's terrific -- but it's also not the end of the world if it's not ideal. Especially with a man who is making a real effort at other ways to get you what you need.

You'll get knee-jerk responses here like "Dump him" because there are people here for whom their idea of perfect sex, on demand, the way they want it, is the be-all and end- all of relationships. If you have more than a sexual connection with this man, you can experiment together on ways to get past issues with his ED. Clearly he's already trying to do just that, which is huge points to him. If you're dating only for sex, then let him find someone who wants more than that in the relationship. I think you sound like you're interested in more than sex here, though. [/quote]

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