Reply to Why can’t I just be honest and tell my daughter that living as a fat woman is hard

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Reply to "Why can’t I just be honest and tell my daughter that living as a fat woman is hard "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depending on the reasons why you are fat (IE possibly genetics???), she may not have much say in whether she gets fat or not.  And if she does get fat, then what?  You pre fat-shamed her.

Just emphasize healthy living -- exercise & healthy foods.  And MODEL it yourself.  It's not about being "fat" -- it's about how you live your life.

Also work on your self esteem.  It's going to affect your kid and it seems likes yours is low.[/quote]

I agree with this.  I'm fat, and watched my DD go from thin to chubby with the onset of puberty.  Her body looks much like mine and I feel terrible that she takes after me in this respect, but I also remember being that age and being desperate to change it and not really being able to, and I know that it is to a significant extent outside of her control.  I require her to eat well and get exercise, but I am not going to hammer her with negative messages.  After all, my mother did that to me, and it never helped at all.[/quote]

NP, but I'd add -- it's really common for girls to get a little chubby with the onset of puberty or before a growth spurt, and it doesn't mean that they are destined to be fat.  Assuming reasonably healthy diet and activity, they often slim back down as they get older.  Telling her that being fat is the worst thing can end up pathologizing even the normal weight gain that girls experience.   [/quote]

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