Reply to Why can’t I just be honest and tell my daughter that living as a fat woman is hard

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom wasn’t obese but she had huge self esteem issues. Hearing her put herself down had a huge impact on my own self esteem. I still think I’m the ugliest person and was terrified of turning 40 because she had early menopause and I’m still somewhat convinced 40 is the end of life. [b]Never put yourself down in front of her. [/b]Even small comments. [/quote]

My mom was always on the heavy side (clearly genetics; her whole family was stocky and struggled with weight).  But she never, never, never put herself down in front of me, and she never equated her value as a person with her looks.  She carried herself like someone who knew they had worth and was comfortable in their own skin.  She talked about eating healthy and getting exercise and being active, and she did those things, but never about her looks.  I think that set me up for a healthy relationship with food and my own body as I grew up, and made it easier to maintain a healthy weight.  My self-esteem was never tied up in those things.  Hearing your mom, the woman you love the most, and who is your first model of what it means to be a woman, tear herself down can be so damaging.  [/quote]

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