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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Someday the DILs of DCUM might decide to view MILs as just women in their lives rather than assigning all these odd attributes to them just because they are MILs.

Yeah, maybe that will happen...like when all the DCUM DILs become MILS.[/quote]

I did see my MIL as an actual person, however that doesn't help when MIL is openly rude, insulting and hostile.  It doesn't help when she lies to DH about me to cause fights.  I get MIL's are women living their own lives however I would never in my life treat another human being the way my MIL treated me.  It is one thing to have flaws, everyone has them, it's another to act how some of these women act.

What I didn't understand is that if my MIL was having so many problems with her son getting married there was always therapy.  She could have reached out to friends, instead she lashed out at me, constantly until I removed myself from her.

Yes these attributes are not simply because these women are MIL's however my MIL clearly, very very clearly struggled with becoming one. The issues are surrounding MIL issues.  For these women that are struggling with empty nest, menopause, the changing relationship with their son, fears of abandonment or changing time constraints, attention or whatever else goes on, yes these may be issues that younger women are not facing or aware of yet, yes younger women have not been through it and don't know how it feels however I believe we are empathetic enough to see the other side, however it is not the DIL's responsibility to fix these emotions for the MIL.  It's up to the MIL to get professional help and learn to manage herself.

I will say younger women are much more aware of mental health issues and also getting therapy.  Here's hoping that when the DIL's here become MIL's that they will reach out to a therapist rather than cry to their son.  I do feel that will be more healthy.[/quote]

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