Reply to What is it about in laws that exhausts me?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's that you haven't learned how to disengage from them so they're always on your radar and their presence 'pings' you.  If that's the case, they you need to learn how to mute the pinging.  It may require some planning on your part by you CAN plan for them to be off your radar if they're open to helping/pitching in.  I used to plan my meals out ahead of time, buy all the stuff that's needed and ask my mother/ILs to help me with meal prep.  I used to have a list of chores that needed to me done so that if they had the time, they could do it - things like go thru the kids' closet and pull out any clothes that are too small/out of season, re-pot some plants, etc.

I also made sure I had some meetings to attend to or late night work.  My parents/ILs liked to help, liked having a list of things they could chose from (or not) and were happy to take over getting the kids ready.  I still preferred to being alone but also appreciated they wanted to help and to spend time with the kids.

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I think this PP make sense with the concept of your radar pinging.  OP needs to either (a) learn to disengage or (b) don't have the in-laws come in.  Unless you and DH are splitting the drop offs in the morning or your kids are involved in activities at the same time, it really isn't that much harder if one spouse travels at this age.  I also work FT and have 3 DCs, but was always primarily responsible for childcare drop offs since it's closest to my office.  If DH was gone, it didn't change that much of the routine.  In some ways, it's also easier because you get to make all the decisions and don't have to take into account another adult's preferences.  You should try it without the in-laws, or at least part of the week without the in-laws, and see which way makes you feel less tired.  [/quote]

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