Reply to DD is upset I told her she looked like a homeless person

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Reply to "DD is upset I told her she looked like a homeless person"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ll tell you this, OP. I can remember in vivid detail what feels like every single time my dad insulted my appearance. I still think about the things he said 20+ years later. I don’t remember the times he complimented me or called me beautiful, even though I know he did. [/quote]

I've read somewhere that with little kids you should average 7 kind statements with every criticism if you want them to accept the criticism without it damaging their self-esteem. The point is not to encourage parents to compliment their kids constantly, but rather to think very hard before criticizing. If this rule requires you to compliment your child incessantly, it means you are criticizing way too much and need to lay off.

I don't know if this applies to teens or not, but I can say that I too remember the hurtful comments my parents made to me at this age more than I can remember a single kind thing. More than that, I can remember the expressions on their faces when they said hurtful things about my appearance -- disgust, disappointment. This becomes the voice inside of someone's head, the self-criticism that holds them back from doing things or feeling good about themselves. Why would you do that to your child? Is that what you want your legacy to be? The disgusted look on your face as you greeted your daughter after a day of school?

Agree OP should apologize and learn to keep her opinions about her daughter's appearance to herself.[/quote]

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