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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
When my kid was young I would explain that grandma sometimes struggled with big feelings, just like kids do, and that I had empathy for that but would always make the decision that made the most sense for our family. As she got older I was able to explain more clearly about the dynamic and why I chose to handle it the way I did. My kid is pretty savvy about these sorts of things now and in some ways I think she's benefitted from dealing with someone like my mom because I'm sure she will meet other people like this in life.

Would I have preferred she have an emotionally mature grandmother who understood how to manage her own needs and emotions without manipulation and sympathy-seeking? Of course. But it is what it is and I've made the most of it.[/quote]

That is SO going to bite you in the ass later. [/quote]

Why? We've had to provide explanations-lite to our kids about various relatives, and the kids were always pretty good about cooperating to get us through. They're pretty emotionally savvy now, and I think it's because they've learned what is and isn't their responsibility.[/quote]

My guess is PP meant they were going to use those skills on YOU one day when you hit this stage.[/quote]

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