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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I'm an outlier b/c my first thought is that your mom has the stereotypical old-person anxiety.  She feels awkward about the dead silence after conversation has ended and there's not much else to say. She probably feels like an inadequate host b/c you're bored . She's trying to give you an "out" by calling you b/c that would help her feel better about not you visiting.

It might seem silly that she's so focused and anxious about a visit that has such long dead silences. For most of us, we're content sitting quietly or just being in the same room watching tv.. We don't have to be talking to show that we (still) enjoy each other's company.
But old people are wired differently. Their perception of a "nice visit" is actively engaging in conversation, telling stories, etc
. I'm guess your mom also offers food and drink ad nauseum? [/quote]

Yes, it may be true her poor behavior is caused by her anxiety.  But the problem is when the grandmother expects everyone to cater to her because of her mild mental health issues.  Anxiety is not a pass to be rude & manipulative to others.

My own mother is full of reasons why her own terrible behavior should be understood, permitted, ignored. . . None of it is her responsibility and totally up to her mood at the time.  Sometimes we are supposed to tolerate rudeness because of her anxiety and if we loved her we would be understanding.  Other times, the exact same behavior, we are supposed to know it's because she is smarter than us, has her master's degree, and as the mother should always be respected.  Her mental health needs cannot be my problem.

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