Reply to What’s fair—expectation vs reality when parents/ILs live far away?

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Reply to "What’s fair—expectation vs reality when parents/ILs live far away?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] You’re joking but that’s exactly how we have hosted family many times. Not wanting to burn vacation days and thousands of dollars is fair. Banning grandma and grandpa from a living room air mattress is not.[/quote]

Nope, this would never work for me.  If we really don’t have space (and sun sit mattress in our family room is not the space), they can stay in a hotel.  It’s my house, of course it’s ok to decide who sleeps there.[/quote]

That's fine in a vacuum but it's part of a bigger negotiation about how often everyone will be traveling. If the goal is to travel infrequently (that's my goal) you only have so many negotiating chips. [/quote]
How is this a negotiation? ILs decided on their own to move back to their hometown on the West coast (as is their right). OP and her family also get to decide for themselves whether they are willing to host ILs in their home, when they will visit ILs in CA, and how often it is feasible for them to go to CA. ILs didn’t negotiate with anyone in deciding to move, OP and her family don’t have to negotiate either. [/quote]

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