Reply to What’s fair—expectation vs reality when parents/ILs live far away?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] You’re joking but that’s exactly how we have hosted family many times. Not wanting to burn vacation days and thousands of dollars is fair. Banning grandma and grandpa from a living room air mattress is not.[/quote]

Nope, this would never work for me.  If we really don’t have space (and sun sit mattress in our family room is not the space), they can stay in a hotel.  It’s my house, of course it’s ok to decide who sleeps there.[/quote]

That's fine in a vacuum but it's part of a bigger negotiation about how often everyone will be traveling. If the goal is to travel infrequently (that's my goal) you only have so many negotiating chips. [/quote]
It’s an odd way to look at it. You are allowed to say no that doesn’t work for me. I would much rather have shorter quality visits than cramming a bunch of people into a too small place. The kids don’t sleep well, everyone ends up crabby and resentful. [/quote]

I can't imagine being crabby and resentful about having to be flexible about sleeping arrangements but I guess if you already know you and your family are easily made unpleasant by inconvenience you should act on that information. My family is made of pleasant and easygoing people, including the kids, so I have a different perspective. [/quote]

You do seem like a delight, PP.  [/quote]

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