Reply to Does your spouse owe your parents financial assistance?

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Reply to "Does your spouse owe your parents financial assistance?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP--my suggestion is to sit down with your husband and talk to him about this.  You remind him how much you send to your parents and let him know that they are struggling to make ends meet and to pay for college for your youngest sibling.  Then you leave it up to him to decide whether he is willing to contribute more towards your family.  If he declines, then you have to let your parents know that you are sending them whatever you can afford, and you cannot afford to send more.

While I understand that both of your incomes are joint family money, I think for big expenses like this, you have to have your partner on board to send money out of the nuclear family.  If he is not willing to send more and you want to send more, then I suggest that you look into finding a higher paying job or perhaps get a second job to make more to send to your family.  While he has married into the family and he is a part of the family, he does have a say into whether to support extended family.  The fact that you are already sending a pretty large amount of money to them regularly and he dislikes it but has not complained about it, is already being very supportive.  There are many spouses who would not want to send that much money to family, so I think you need to appreciate that he is already being supportive, maybe not to the extent that they want, but much more than many people would.  Try not to push too hard or you may build up resentment between him and your family of origin.  You don't need to create marital problems from that obligation.  How would you feel if you asked to send more money monthly out of his paycheck and he resented it enough to cause marital problems that lead to a divorce.  Would that help your family?  Would that help you?

So, talk to him and let him make the choice, if he wants to send more money to them.  You've made the choice to send them money regularly and he did not criticize or complain.  Let him make the choice whether to send more.[/quote]

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