Reply to DH doesn’t remember any birthdays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are some people that cannot remember dates/events.  Just like there are people who are face-blind, or people who cannot remember numbers or people who have problems remembering certain words.

Does he use a calendar program on his phone?  Put the dates on the shared calendar and have them pop up reminders X days before the event so that it pops up on his phone.  I put a bunch of reminders for myself on my phone and I adjust the notification times based on when I need a reminder.  So, for days when my kids have early dismissal and I need to pick them up, I put it for about 4 hours before so that it reminds me before I put the kids to bed.  For birthdays I have to buy something for, I put the notification like 3 days beforehand so that I can remember to get something before the event.  For birthdays that I just have to acknowledge with a text or email, I let it notify me on the date of the event.  And so on.  Either talk to him about sitting down and filling out the calendar or do it for him and then let the phone do the work for you.[/quote]

Maybe he and I need to sit down together and figure out a system that will work for him.[/quote]

Yep.  You need to sit down, explain that you are having problems keeping track of everything you need to track and everything that he needs to track.  So, he will now be responsible for tracking events like birthdays for his side of the family and he needs to take ownership of events like remembering his own anniversary, your and the kids birthdays.  He needs to identify a system or reminders that he will actually pay attention to and then either he configures it or you do.  In my case, I don't monitor email reminders (I used to try that), but I have things that are important pop up to me on my phone the evening before I go to bed (I am a night owl, so I usually set my reminders to show up on my phone about an hour after the kids bedtime, so that I am likely to have fewer distractions and can take note).  So I put everything on the Google calendar and I set reminders for the night before.  As I said, if I have to buy something, then I'll usually make it 3 days + the night before.  But having it pop up on my phone works for me.

So, talk to him, help him figure out what reminder he will not ignore and then he has to set up the notifications.  You can help him with dates and getting the reminders set up and then it's up to him to maintain and actually register and use the notifications.  [/quote]

These are great suggestions. Thanks! I’m going to use this technique for myself- I am actually pretty forgetful myself [/quote]

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