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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you treat the girlfriend badly, don’t expect that she will ever let you close when she becomes the wife. My MIL was quite nasty to me pretty much the whole time we dated, in part because she had a hard time with her only child being in a serious relationship and in part because I am not what she imagined in her family (culture/ethnicity/religion). Her reaction to our engagement was a long sigh and then silence.

When we got married, she magically flipped a switch and was all “I love you! You’re like a daughter to me!” Uh, no thanks, lady. I had 5+ years of seeing your real feelings towards me. I will always be civil and welcoming when you visit, but anything resembling closeness or love is off the table permanently. [/quote]

I had the same experience. My MIL called my now DH after she meet me and said she didn’t think I was right for him and essentially, he could do better. I was at his apartment with him when she called and talked with him. It was a LONG phone call. This was after Christmas, I had bought them a lovely gift from their home state, apparently they didn’t expect me to give them something so MIL found a glass vase she had and gave that to me. My DH told me about the phone conversation since I had been there and it took a long time. We spent a few weeks apart and ended up getting back together. During that time she never called me, she didn’t even have my number. The day after we got engaged she sent me a text congratulating me and how excited she was to have me in the family. I’m cordial with her, but I can’t help to wonder what she really thinks of me.  [/quote]

At least yours didn’t do it to your face. Mine told my now husband in front of me that she was in no hurry to be a grandmother and not to rush into anything. We were in our 30s and had been living together for a year and dating for nearly three. And then she told me a story about her friend who lived with a man for five year who then dumped her and married someone else within 6 months, while her friend ended up alone. This is all just some examples during one single visit where she was staying at our place. My husband put her in her place right away though (or he would not have become my husband!) [/quote]

Its a couple's personal decision but may be she was hoping you two would get married and have a stronger bond before starting a family. No one would be your stronger supporter than Indian MIL if her son tried to ditch her grandchild's mother without serious cause. [/quote]

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